Barbara made some delicious bacon-wrapped medallions out of a pork tenderloin and served them with sweet potato whole-wheat gnocchi. It’s important to understand that the gnocchi being whole wheat cancels out the incredibly fatty and salty nature of the bacon, making this actually a healthy meal. Or something.
[simage=128,288,n,right,]Never mind the existence of evil or that evolution stuff, the most positive proof that there is no higher power can be found in the fact that a particular device has never come to market. That device, my friends, is the Wake ‘n’ Bacon. That’s right, it’s an alarm clock that wakes you up by cooking a delicious piece of bacon right by your bed. Sadly, despite being invented way back in 2005, it doesn’t seem that you can buy one of these heavenly devices anywhere, and I ask you, what self-respecting deity would allow such a crime against nature to occur within His or Her divine plan? Maybe Loki, but I’m pretty sure he’s on the outs right now. So there you have it, proof that there’s no God: I can’t be woken up by the smell of bacon cooking by my bedside, even though now I know, and will never be able to un-know, that it is possible.